Chaotic Bliss

I officially have a blog. Let me just start by saying this is not my idea of fun. A one-liner Facebook status is one thing...but a blog? I'm not so sure. However, lately I've been praying for God to use me in a way to reach people in some way. The idea of a blog keeps coming back to me so I guess it's time I listen. I will go ahead and tell you all that I haven't taken an English/writing class in probably 5 years. Grammar Nazis, y'all be kind.

First on the list--my testimony which will come in three parts (one part per kid--how convenient!). I've read a lot of different testimonies from other people.  Most people that share seem to have some kind of huge event happen that leads them to the Lord. While that does sort of apply to me, I've always considered myself a Christian. I've always loved God. I've always felt Him in my heart. My actions have sometimes been horrible, but that's not really what this is about. 

Mitchell and I had Kaylie when we were both 18 years old. We were two incredibly imperfect people who did not deserve the huge blessing that we had been given. The night she was born, Mitchell asked me to marry him. About a million blessings later and we are still here today, thank the good Lord! :) Anyway, several months after she was born one of my friends told me about another friend who didn't believe in God. Here in the Bible belt, this is not something that I had ever encountered before. I was shocked, to say the least. This friend had a baby. I wondered for a long time how she could look at her baby and not see God. I wondered how she thought that she and her husband could possibly make something so perfect without God...this is not something I could have ever comprehended without having a child of my own.

Let me just go ahead and say that this was NOT about me judging her. I was hardly in any place to judge. I was not married, had a baby, and lived with my parents. I promise... I was just genuinely shocked. I'm still not judging her or anyone else...but the shock is still there.

This is really where things took a turn for me. I began to pray more. I tried to let my actions speak for what was in my heart. I still fall short daily. I still fail, but now I have three blessings. I WANT them to feel that same shock the first time they encounter someone who doesn't believe in God. I want that to be so far from their realm of understanding that the thought of not believing in God knocks them into next week. Lord, help us raise our children that way.

"But he said, “What is impossible with men is possible with God.”"
Luke 18:27